Did I just tell you to shut up?
Well, yes I did. But I think sometimes in conversations we really need to practice shutting up more. What’s the old saying…? You have two ears and one mouth, so listen twice as much as you talk…
Take notice this week, do you ever find yourself asking someone a question (be that a client, a colleague, a partner, a child or a friend) and right after you ask the question – you unintentionally either offer suggestions for the answer, answer the question for them, start rambling or even ask another question?
We all slip into this default mode, partially because no one likes silence in a conversation so often we tend to want to fill the gaps, but often also because of things such as ego, impatience, or wanting to be right.
I would like to challenge you to start to ask your questions, and then shut up. Catch yourself before you fill the silence, pause and give the other party the chance to respond. And watch what happens. You may just be very surprised by what happens when you pause and truly listen.
With a client, you may notice that they are able to open up more and provide an answer that gives you more insight into their situation. With a partner or friend you may learn how they are really feeling about a situation. With a child you may open up their imagination and creativity to provide an answer to what is really going on in their minds (if you want to know).
And when we can better understand someone else’s point of view, feelings or situation, it allows us to act with much more compassion, understanding and empathy to better serve them.
I would love to hear how you go with this one.
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